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5 Kinds of sex!
1) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon
period; you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.
2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the
marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.
3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit,
perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.
4) The fourth kind is hallway Sex. This is the phase in which
you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Screw you!"
5) There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when
you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in
Why is Pfizer trying to decrease the amount of time it takes for
Viagra to work?
Because men don't like one of the side-effects: Foreplay.
A man goes to the doctors and says "Doc, you gotta help me!"
The doctor asks, "What's your problem?"
The guy says, "Every morning I wake up with an erection. I give
the misses a quick one, then go to work. On the way to work, I
car share with the next door neighbour's wife. She gives me a
blow job during the ride to work. Once i get to work, i do some
work. At morning tea time I go into the photocopy room and get
it off with one of the young office girls. At lunch I take my
secretary out to a hotel. Brother, do we get it on! For
afternoon tea, I give the boss's wife a good servicing. I then
go home and slip the maid a few inches. Then at night I give the
missus another screw."
"Well," said the doctor. "What could possibly be your problem?"
The guy says, "Well, it hurts when I masturbate."
Bumper Sticker of the day:
JESUE LOVES YOU. It's everybody else that thinks you're an
The research worker, conducting a sex survey, phones one of the
husbands whose completed form was spread out before him.
"Mr. Pullman, there seems to be some discrepancies between the
answers of you and your wife to the same question. For example,
under 'frequencey of intercourse' you wrote 'Three times a week'
and your wife 'Three times a night'."
"Well, that's right," replied the husband, "but that's only until
we have paid off the mortgage on the house."
A millionaire informs his attorney, "I want a stipulation in my
Will that my wife is to inherit averything, but only if she
remarries within six months of my death."
"Why such an odd stipulation?" asks the attorney.
"Because," he says, "I want someone to be sorry i died."
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